I’m just waiting on her to give up on me or get sick of me

confessionsaboutselfharm:

1720) I saw a friend’s post the other day that was counting down the days until “swimsuit season”…. it’s funny how something can make someone feel elated while making another absolutely fucking terrified

I want to chop all of my hair off

I’m so angry at myself . I let me and cara go to sleep last night upset with each other . I was such an idiot for doing that . I never should’ve done what I did . Honestly , I’m so angry at myself .. And I am gonna punish myself later for it . Because I deserve it . I made her upset . I was a bad girlfriend . I always screw up . I wasn’t trying to push her away or make her sad . That was not my intention at all . I would never do that . I’m just a fucked up person

When I saw where Megan breon was like “deep cleaning my room” , it made me think of boarding school … It reminded me of when we had “deep clean” every Saturday . I hated doing it . I hated having to vacuum and dust and mop and clean the windows . But occasionally , it was sort of fun . Like when I rolled Hannah up in the rug and dragged her around the house .. Or when I took kaities high heels and put them on and ran around the kitchen when I was supposed to be vacuuming . Yes , boarding school was torturous and it scarred me in so many ways but every now and then there would be a fun memory that was created there . Oh and I almost forgot the one time me and Hannah were sitting alone at the table and we were eating cookie dough … And we decided to throw some of it on the ceiling and it stuck on there .. Lol I miss that . I miss talking to her every day . I miss having her around all the time . I will forever consider her one of my best friends .